blah-blah-blogging

Blogging has turned blah for me. When J-Wild turned me onto blogging at the same time I was stumbling out of a fog of postpartum depression, I was thrilled to have a place where I could write (a favorite pastime of mine) AND have some daily adult interaction (vital for me as a stay-at-home parent). While I named my blog "The Rowan Report" so I could "report" on life with my child, I also viewed it as a place to discuss other personal interests aside from parenting. Lately however, I often find myself wanting to write about topics of a more sensitive nature, and I'm afraid my comments will come across as offensive to some of my friends and relatives.

I once read a blogger who wrote that she didn’t comment about issues like politics or family struggles because "those topics would be hurtful." I understand where she's coming from. But I also identify with the words of another blogger who mentioned hearing Philip Yancey discuss a common difficulty of writers. She said, "We are supposed to use the stuff of our lives to find spiritual meaning and teach what we have found. Abstractions help no one. It's the real-life applications that we learn from. But Yancey mentioned problems with [those closest to him] taking offense at his writing." At this point in my life, I don't feel strong enough - or mature enough for that matter - to deal with the fallout.

All that to say...I'm taking a break from blogging. It could very well be a permanent break. But I will keep writing. I love to write. Always have. I'm just not sure blogging is the best forum for sharing my thoughts at this point in my life. Call it what you will (personally, I think it's an urging by the Spirit) but I feel the need to focus my writing energies elsewhere at the time.

So farewell, my blogging buddies. Thanks for all the encouragement these past couple of years. I hope you can say I did likewise. May the peace of God always be with you.

my new favorite song: the riddle

There was a man back in '95 / Whose heart ran out of summers / But before he died, I asked him / Wait, what's the sense in life / Come over me, Come over me / He said, "Son why you got to sing that tune / Catch a Dylan song or some eclipse of the moon / Let an angel swing and make you swoon / Then you will see...You will see." / Then he said, "Here's a riddle for you / Find the Answer / There's a reason for the world / You and I..." / Picked up my kid from school today / Did you learn anything cause in the world today / You can't live in a castle far away / Now talk to me, come talk to me / He said, "Dad I'm big but we're smaller than small / In the scheme of things, well we're nothing at all / Still every mother's child sings a lonely song / So play with me, come play with me" / And "Hey Dad / Here's a riddle for you / Find the Answer / There's a reason for the world / You and I..." / I said, "Son for all I've told you / When you get right down to the / Reason for the world... / Who am I?" / There are secrets that we still have left to find / There have been mysteries from the beginning of time / There are answers we're not wise enough to see / He said, "You're looking for a clue: I Love You free..." / The batter swings and the summer flies / As I look into my angel's eyes / A song plays on while the moon is hiding over me / Something comes over me / I guess we're big and I guess we're small / If you think about it man you know we got it all / Cause we're all we got on this bouncing ball / And I love you free / I love you freely / Here's a riddle for you / Find the Answer / There's a reason for the world / You and I...

that's life

Well, life has preempted blogging. Obviously. Visiting grandparents, Fourth of July, househunting, an injured shoulder. You know. Stuff like that. The grandparents and Fourth festivities were much enjoyed. The torn rotator cuff...not so much. And after eight months of househunting with nothing to show for it, I'm about to write that off as well. C'est la vie. And for the five of you who read my blog, that's why I haven't been writing.

endurance

It’s official. If a doctor of medicine says so, it’s official: Rowan is a strong-willed child. We’ve been wondering for a while now. Let’s just say the tantrum-throwing has, um, escalated. I suppose it’s possible he could just be passing through an intense two-year-old phase. But then, last night, a certain turn of events brought us together with a man who knows a willful child when he sees one…Rowan’s pediatrician.

Rowan was building a fort with his dad, lost his balance and caught his eyebrow on the corner of a chair. Blood. Panic. Phone calls. The doc told us to meet him at his office.

Before the mending commenced, the doctor mentioned that most kids fall asleep after the shot of novacaine takes effect. I had an inkling that Rowan might prove to be the exception, but hey, our pediatrician has been in practice for thirty years. He has a fabulous reputation and is considered one of the best in our area. Other docs call him The Baby Whisperer. In other words…he’s good. So I was hoping he was right and that Rowan would actually drift off to la-la land while the doctor sewed him up.

It turns out that mom’s intuition holds a lot of sway over even the most proficient medicine man. During the twenty minutes it took to stitch that eyebrow back together, Rowan bucked like a wild bronco hooked on crack and Mountain Dew. Brandon put all his energy into holding Rowan’s head still. I held his hands down and leaned on his legs with my upper torso. Brandon accidentally got punched in the forehead a few times by the doc. Rowan kneed me in the voice box a couple of times. I’m surprised we didn’t all end up needing stitches after that fiasco.

Three times during the whole affair, our doctor commented, “Rowan certainly has a lot of endurance.” That’s the word he used: endurance. I finally replied, “Is that your polite way of saying we have a strong-willed child?!”

As exhausting and unsettling as the evening was, it turned out to be a validating event. Since this all happened after office hours, we were able to spend some time with our pediatrician without feeling rushed. The doc was able to witness Rowan at the pinnacle of a freak-out, and then matter-of-factly reassure us that Rowan’s “endurance” was an inborn (as well as a positive) personality trait and not due to our inadequacies as parents. After the past few weeks we’ve had, Brandon and I really needed to hear that encouragement.

So the doctor did a little mending of Rowan’s head. And God did a little mending of Brandon’s and Jana’s hearts. Always a good thing to have someone give you a little cheer. Helps keep up that endurance.

of mice and moms

The story starts out like this: Jana makes an early-morning run to the grocery store while Brandon is still at home with Rowan. Jana is wearing flip-flops as she normally does from May through September. Jana is scanning her groceries at the self-check-out cashier when she feels something pinch her big toe. She backs away from the scanner, wondering if a big beetle thought maybe a tasty pastry had just plopped in front of it. Jana convinces herself that it was probably her blown-out flip-flop scratching her toe. She continues scanning her goods. Jana feels a pinch on her other big toe. This time she starts sweating a little because she thinks she's either crazy or having some weird physical symptom. Instead of a "tingling sensation in the fingers", she's having a "pinching sensation in the toes". She scans a few more groceries. As she leans into her basket to retrieve another item, she spots the pinching culprit. A MOUSE. Jana then nearly goes into cardiac arrest. She yells out to a cashier she knows by name and points to the check-out stand, "AUDREY!!! THERE'S A MOUSE UNDER THERE!!!" Jana explains what has happened regarding the toe-nibbling and Audrey gets nervous and calls a store manager to the front. The store manager tries to assure Jana that she cannot contract an awful disease via toe-nibbling. Audrey, though freaked out as well, is wearing close-toed shoes and kindly scans the rest of Jana's groceries. Jana runs out of the grocery store, drives home and throws away all her flip-flops.

study shows working moms healthier than stay-at-home moms

There is validity to the study discussed in this article. Moms need a place outside the home where they can contribute to the community-at-large. Whether the work is full-time or part-time, paid or volunteer, contributing to society plays a part in strengthening a woman's health, emotionally, mentally and now apparently, even physically.

However, "the findings also suggested that the stresses associated with holding down a job while raising small children take their toll on women's health....when children were younger than six, a working woman's health suffered but it began improving afterward."

watching rowan & remembering others

Sometimes I feel guilty for just sitting and watching Rowan. He's eating or playing or his dad is giving him a bath, and I stop whatever I'm doing and absorb myself in observing him. Why do I feel guilty for spending time watching my child? I think a lot of it has to do with our culture's and my own "go, go, go" mentality. Watching my son grow and learn is the last thing I should be feeling guilty for. He has so much to teach me.

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Every Memorial Day, Brandon and I wonder how we can best honor those for whom Memorial Day was created. We're just never quite sure what to do. Display our flag? Attend a parade? Watch a war film? Whatever we do or say, our appreciation cannot measure up to the sacrifices that have been made by servicepeople and their families.

Today we prayed. Rowan spontaneously grabbed Brandon's hand, then mine, bowed his head and said "Pway!" That's the first time he's ever initiated a prayer, so we took hold of the moment and talked to God on behalf of our military and their families.

Thanks to all of you who have served our country in life and in death.