Wednesday, June 15, 2005

an article on present-day mothering

Read the article here. The mom who I identify with the most says: "I found that the books put too many doubts in my mind, so I just avoid them. I just try to do what's best for my kids. You hope people aren't judging. You just have to say, 'If they are, it's their problem.'"

2 Comments:

Blogger Lexie said...

Thanks for another interesting article on mothering.

9:59 AM  
Blogger Kate said...

That was a good article - it was written about women in towns near where I grew up. There's 9 years difference between me and my youngest brother and sister (twins) - and just in that amount of time the expectations of activity involvement was dramatic. I wasn't involved in any sport until 5th grade; I was involved in a few clubs in school, but that was it. Other than being in Brownies or taking a dance class, my peers weren't much more involved than I was. However, since age 5, my brother and sister have been on a sports team (pretty much) EVERY season and more often than not are on more than one team at a time. Here's what's insane, my sister who has had a GPA of 3.7 or higher every year, has been captain of her soccer and lacrosse teams, has been in student gov't, was named student athlete for our county, etc. didn't get into one of our state schools because of her SAT score. Hello?? This is why parents are FREAKING out. (BTW, this ended up being a good thing for my sister and I'm proud of my parents handling it so well.)No matter how much their kids do, and how well they do it, college is a struggle. Just as that one woman mentioned thinking about school at age 2, I've had parents of kindergarten students already talking about which colleges they want their kid to apply to. Though this sounds extreme, college is the new norm and since there are more applicants there are fewer spaces. Everyone is raising the bar - and no one is guaranteed to go where they want (even if they had the ridiculous amount of money to spend - whole other topic!). I think this whole direction of education and parenting being directed at the goal of college entry is extremely dangerous.
In terms of the role of motherhood, I liked what the article said about going with your gut - the problem is that is often against what our society is telling us to do. I try to go with my gut as much as possible =)
Ok, I'm rambling but I have to add that it's a strange twist how the role of children has changed. Now parents feel like they're asking too much of their kids if they want them to do chores. Kids know if everything is done around them and their wants - I think that's a big factor in a rise of behavioral issues. Kids need to be participatory members of the family, not the head of it. Ok, I'll stop...you know I could go on =)

10:00 AM  

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