penny for my thoughts

I'd really rather write about something else at the moment, but Money is on my mind. Seems like I've been spending a lot of it lately. On clothes. On gifts. On groovy little stickers to make cards. And I feel really guilty about it. I'd like to be saving up for a self-designed lakehouse and Rowan's college fund. But I've been tossing out the cash left and right these past few months. It's strange...I'm not much of a shopper...but of late, I've been finding my way to Target and the mall and the scrapbook store just a little too often. I've even been to the yarn shop a couple of times. And I don't even knit. Maybe buying things brings excitement to my typically mundane day...maybe it gives me a sense of power and control...

Here is a relevant excerpt from Richard Foster’s The Challenge of the Disciplined Life: “Most of us allow money to dictate our decisions; what kind of house we will live in, what vacation we will take, what job we will hold. Money decides. Suppose [my wife] says to me, ‘Let’s do this or that’, and I complain, ‘But we don’t have enough money!’ What has happened? Money decided. You see, I did not say, ‘Well, honey, let’s pray together and see if God wants us to do it.’ No, money made the decision. Money is my master. I am serving money.”

I try to excuse my spending by thinking to myself that if I worry about it too much, I am letting Money be my master. At the same time, I wonder if I really need another piece of clothing or a $60 haircut or another batch of stickers for my scrapbook.