Saturday, December 10, 2005

is it worth it?

Blogging, I mean. Is it really worth it? The Rowan Report was initiated so I could, as I state in the header, “ponder my role as both mom and world citizen.” For the past 14 months, I feel like I’ve done that for the most part. I’ve shared about my struggles with postpartum depression. I’ve commented on the ins and outs of life with a baby. I’ve journaled about my opinions regarding faith, God, relationships.

In my efforts to be authentic, however, I’ve also managed to hack off a long-lost friend with whom I may never reconcile. I’ve butted heads with another blogger who has a lot of good things to say, but does not appreciate being questioned on certain topics. And I’m fairly confident I’ve annoyed a few family members as well.

Honestly, I blog mostly for myself. But I also share my stories and joys and frustrations in the hopes of connecting with others. Maybe I’ll encourage another new mom. Maybe someone dealing with depression will identify with my ponderings and feel not quite as alone as they did before. Or, as has already happened, another blogger will do that for me! I’d like to think that in my own diminutive, quirky and imperfect way, I am sharing the love of God with others. My critics might say otherwise. But whose lead should I be following in this whole blogging endeavor: my critics', my friends' or my God's?

So again I ask, is it worth it?

I still haven’t decided.

13 Comments:

Blogger Chel said...

I periodically ask myself the same question... for my part, I blog for myself and pray that God can use my blog to touch other people. I've enjoyed reading your blog... I hope you stick with it.

9:11 PM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

Jana & Brandon,

I saw a pic of Rowan in the ACU today! Adorable! Hope you are doing well... let's keep in touch!

Kim Sublette Holmes

10:34 PM  
Anonymous Shannon said...

Hi Jana.
I vote, "stick with it."
I personally enjoy hearing about your life and reading your insights. It is such a neat way to keep in touch with you despite our busy lives.

But more important than that...it seems to me you have truly ministered to other women who struggled with PPD. That is an awesome opportunity. I mean, seriously, you can minister from your computer. I find that compelling, and maybe that really does make it worth it for you to continue.
Just some initial thoughts I had!
Shannon

11:16 PM  
Blogger Tony Arnold said...

I am glad you blog. I am not sure we would have met each other at Church and formed a friendship if we hadn't met in blog land. Kinda sad comment about Church, but I am glad it happened.

I am so glad you and Brandon are in the David class. Was I too harsh on the 51st Psalm yesterday? Don't know why it bothers me so much.

And don't stop being honest. I find it very refreshing. I think some are offended because few are used to dealing with others that way.

Tony

9:05 AM  
Blogger DigiGirl said...

I've never heard you say anything bad about anybody on your blog. You've been nothing but honest about your feelings. If that is a basis for others to deny friendship, then they're the ones missing out.

Everyone needs a platform for their thoughts. Keep blogging!

11:58 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Jana, I love reading your blog....and I feel like I've gotten to know you on a level that would have taken a lot longer otherwise.

You do minister to other people both on your blog and in real life.

I vote stick with it. :o)

12:30 PM  
Blogger Clarissa said...

I dunno. I'm tired of blogging, m'self. I hear ya.

12:36 PM  
Blogger Katey said...

All I know is it was nice to reconnect with you and I echo Tony- it wouldn't have happened just at church. If it wasn't for catching your blog, I probably wouldn't have put all the pieces together.

1:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was fine until I shared my blog with people who actually "knew" me. I liked it much better when I didn't have to weigh everything I said by who was going to read it.

I have found great encouragement and comraderie through this medium, but I do realize that the only one who can answer your question is you.

I am an occasional reader, but I think you do a great job!

8:30 PM  
Blogger erinlo said...

Your blog is one of my favorites and I appreciate the way in which you articulate your thoughts. I know that as a mother of preschoolers, I am often looking for a way to tap into my "intellectual side." (What little is left) Blogging has given me a way to do that. By posting my own thoughts and by reading others, I have found interacting through the blogging world a LOT of fun. I hope you won't stop. I relate to so much of what you have to say and you say it a whole lot better than I could.

8:36 AM  
Blogger Jana said...

Well, if you haven't figured it out by now, this was just my sneaky way of fishing for compliments. (Kidding!!!) I appreciate everyone's sentiment...but next time I think I will close the comments section...if I can figure out how...

Thanks y'all.

10:51 AM  
Blogger J-Wild said...

Jana. Your blog is great and I check it every single day. Of course there are times that you write things that I might not have the courage to say, but that's why I come to read your stuff. Not that you have to be provocative or edgy all the time, it's just that your blog is completely an extension of your personality, so there isn't anything you should be ashamed of.

No one is forced to read or comment on your blog, and as long as you do it for your own purposes then keep on blogging. Blogs do have their limitations, but they can also prove to be a helpful, fun, and community building medium.

9:20 PM  
Anonymous Adam Hogan said...

Jana,
I've just come across your blog, sad as I am your cousin and all. I think you should stick with it, so long as you are convicted to do so. Of course many people, including some close to you, will not like it, as it is hard to hear truth. (It is in our nature to feel humiliated when we journey through life in pursuit of truth.) That is not to say that the anger or hurt of others is a sign of truth of course.
Consider the following:
Matthew 10:34-39 Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to part asunder a man from his father, and a daughter from her mother, and a newly married wife from her mother-in-law - And a man's foes will be they of his own household. He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me; And he who does not take up his cross and follow Me [cleave steadfastly to Me, conforming wholly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying also] is not worthy of Me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life on My account will find it.
How do we make sense of this?
I'm not sure I have the answer, but I know that If I deny any part of my personhood (past experiences, failed relationships, flaws in my character, ect.) then I also deny the God who brought me to where I am, and wants to take me further along with him.
I hope this isn't to obvious or preachy, as these comments tend to fall on dead ears. At any rate, I believe that breakdowns in community are not signs that God is directing us away from this or that activity. Rather, i think that breakdowns in community are indications that we will need to rely more heavily on God for the place he is leading us.

Shalom

4:11 PM  

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