Thursday, August 18, 2005

for those of you who actually read my blog

I've been wanting to write this week, but I really feel the need to finish up my experience with PPD, and now I've got this sort of writer's block. I want to write about other things but I don't feel like I can until I finish my PPD story. But I keep putting off writing the rest of the story! Procrastination. Whatever.

Today one of my friends mentioned how she feels so self-centered, and I agreed (about myself! not her!). As I age, I realize just how self-centered we humans are, especially we Americans. Like, on Tuesday, I'd had a hard day (I really did have a hard day, honestly), and when Brandon got home, I grabbed my keys and said, "I've had a hard day. I'm going to buy ice cream." HELLO!!! Self-centered. There are millions of people who have never even tasted ice cream, and here I am feeling like I actually deserve some because I've been corralling a 1-year-old all day long.

This isn't meant to make anyone feel guilty about treating yourself. After all, God advises us through Solomon: "So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people to do in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life. That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work God gives them." But we humans -- and again I say we Americans especially -- seem to think we are entitled to so much of everything.

Something to think about.


Anonymous Dad said...

I read your blog.

8:23 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

I read your blog, too, and I do agree that we can be very self-centered. Rick and I talk about this all the time, about how selfish we are with each other in our marriage. It sucks, and no way I'm anywhere near perfect, but I'm getting times.....on good days......when he's not around.....

8:06 AM  
Blogger Tony Arnold said...

You know I read it, and I like it.


8:50 AM  
Blogger Chel said...

I read it! :)

And I think that while we are a self-centered group on occasion, we as mothers also tend to be far more self-depriving than we need to be. We tend to give and give without taking that needed time to replenish our own supplies.

8:56 AM  
Blogger Jana said...

Chel - I agree.

Dad - I love you!

9:35 AM  
Blogger Malia said...

I used to say before I had children that I needed to wait awhile before having them because I was too selfish to be as responsible and selfless as you must be to be a parent. However, here I am with two children and I still feel like the most selfish person in the world. I was recently reminded by sister-in-law about how selfless the job mothering is and I was so ashamed for actually thinking of my own needs above those of my children for even a second. Then I got over it, because I'm human and I'm selfish and occasionally, rarely, my needs just may come first.

2:15 PM  
Blogger mdlg said...

I read your blog too. I also think that we are extremely selfish. I find myself being frustrated everytime something doesn't go my way or is uncomfortable for me. I want things my way, and I want them now. However, when I work with adolescents and see that attitude and behavior in them, I want them to change. Who are they learning that attitude from? Me! Christ's radical teaching tells me to put others before myself and be happy in that. Very few times have I gotten the latter part of that statement right. Anyway, I, like you, am working on it.

2:56 PM  
Blogger kenny said...

I enjoy your blog too. Good thoughts on selfishness in marriage. I know that I've had flawed-HUMAN moments where I feel like my needs should come before my wife's and daughter's. HOW SELFISH! She works SO MUCH harder during the day dealing with the house and chasing around our 1 year old than I do sitting behind a computer all day long. Kate, if you're reading this, feel free to run out when I get home for ice cream any day you feel like it. :)

3:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

With regard to your PPD, is there a doctor in Nashville you recommend to help with that condition, or other similar matters of depression?

I appreciate any information you can pass along.

10:37 AM  
Blogger Jana said...

Anonymous - My ob/gyn was the one who diagnosed me but she does not specialize in PPD issues. I called my church to see if they had any recommendations on Christian counselors, and they suggested AGAPE.

11:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for the information on AGAPE- I appreciate your quick response :)

12:02 PM  
Blogger tine said...

i totally understand the feelings here...i have friends and family who are not as blessed as i am to have such wonderful, helpful and involved husbands...and yet i still find myself having those breakdowns where all i need is quiet(and blue bell!) we can beat ourselves up as mothers very easily i have found in this first year of my firstborn's matter what i do, i still feel like i can't do it all...and i can't...and that's okay

3:08 PM  
Blogger Little Light said...

I read your blog and look forward to your posts.

5:00 PM  
Blogger J-Wild said...

You have a blog?

11:43 PM  
Blogger DigiGirl said...

I agree. But i'm also a firm believer that taking care of yourself if just as important as taking care of those you love. With that said, go buy ice cream anytime you want!

10:39 AM  

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