Thursday, November 18, 2004

texas vs. tennessee

As I rocked Rowan to sleep for his morning nap, I wept. I feel so incredibly torn between the options of living in Texas close to our biological families or living in Tennessee where I feel like we have finally settled into our community. The draw to be near family is strong, sometimes overwhelming. Especially now that Rowan has made his appearance. There is a part of me that says if Brandon receives an offer in Texas anytime soon that we should fast as we can! But then I think of how much I enjoy being in Nashville right now. We love the neighborhood we live in. We've actually met our neighbors and had quality conversations with them! What a rarity and a blessing these days. We LOVE our pediatrician. I wrote him a note and told him that if we ever moved away from Nashville, he would have to come with us. (Still waiting to hear from him...) And then there are the Christian brothers and sisters whom we call our life group. Throughout the bumpy year we've experienced, they have consistently made themselves available for us to lean on. They have helped us move into our new home, brought us meals, called and emailed just to see how we were doing, encouraged me to visit the doctor for various issues (even offered to accompany me on my visit!). They have babysat Rowan for free, prayed for us, gave us space when we needed it. They have demonstrated God's love to us in innumberable ways. I feel especially grateful to Paige, Kathryn, Ginger, Jodi and Melissa who showed special concern to me while I was struggling with postpartum depression. Why would I want to voluntarily leave these people?!? We pray to God for clarity and guidance about where we should be, but never feel really sure about His direction. Hence our dilemma. But what a blessing of a dilemma...deciding between the family we love in Texas and the family we love in Tennessee.


Blogger jch said...

Joe Hays here. Maybe this blog should read, "texas vs. tennessee vs. new york." That's right, I'm still pushing for you folks to join us here in NYC.

On a serious note, I read this blog with much understanding. Laura and I have had a hard month here in New York and it doesn't seem to be getting any easier...ugh! What is our call, our mission? Is it possible for our Christian call to be this hard?

11:36 AM  

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